To All the Parents Now Homeschooling

Wake up first. Getting up before the kids is key for me. Having time to do some things for me before the demands of the day gives me more energy and some internal peace. My mind and body get a moment before those angelic voices start bickering before they even get out of bed. Anyone else’s kids fight while still in bed shouting across rooms? No? Just mine?

Everyone says to have a morning routine but remember to start with small baby steps. One yoga pose when you get out of bed. Drink a full glass of water. One thing. Then you can add another tiny step. If you had a morning routine before it may look different now. The earth operates in seasons and often we do too. Find what works for this season.

This morning time is protected time for your mind and body. The more time you have to ground yourself the better you will feel later when the world comes in and starts trying to knock you around. Save the phone and news and email until after the time for you. It makes a difference, I promise.

Blocks and anchors. Blocks being a chunk of time set aside for a type of task. An anchor is more fixed, an appointment or meal times. Having a loose structure for the day gives scaffolding for an otherwise formless and unwieldy stretch of hours.

We usually start school work at 9:30am. This gives the kids time to play and for me to do some of my own things in the morning. Notice what times of day the kids play well and are independent. Mine play well after breakfast. I use that time to get some of my thinking tasks done. By 9:30 it is time to start school work. I still get some of their best time of day used for school work. It also gives us enough time to get a fair amount of things done before lunch at 11:00am. Our afternoons are less planned but now that most afternoon activities are canceled I think naming more blocks and anchors will help. Adding an afternoon school work time, a quiet time, and a time we do something all together. There will be lots of play and lots of time when it feels like herding cats. Having a plan of what I want to cover that day is really helpful. Each kid having a list of assignments has helped curb rebellious or cranky attitudes. When they know what is expected of them, and when they will be done for the day they are more self motivated to finish.

Go outside, with your kids, at least for part of the time. Even walking the dog around the block helps us all feel better. Even in the rain, or in the cold, it is better to get out. A few mins of sky, flowers, spring buds, a snail crossing the sidewalk, a tiny pinecone. Going outside gives us time from knocking around the house like balls in a pinball machine. I am not sure if I am the ball or the paddles. Or if we are all balls and the universe controls the paddles…. If you have a yard or outside space, going out alone while my kids play inside is one of my favorite things to do, it feels so indulgent. Sun, air, hot tea and a book is my favorite quiet time.

Quiet time is another thing that took me years to practice. Sometimes I catch it in the moment, when everyone is already quietly occupied, and name it and keep it going. Other times I wield it as a way to stop fights and create distance so tempers can cool, maybe mine.

At least 30 minutes seems to be the minimum time to get settled into it and to get some rest out of it. Or for them to get beyond “I’m bored!”For you this is your quiet time too. That morning quiet, no matter how long will not last you the whole day. And for me to feel like a person at the end of the day I need a quiet time too. No news, no scrolling, no dishes. Nap, read, stare at the wall. Anything quiet or life giving. Something that gives you rest. With parents juggling school and work at home maybe you only have time for ten mins with your eyes closed. Make sure you give yourself a break too, even if it is small.

Practice life. All this time at home will make more dirty dishes, more mess, more food to make. This time at home is time that the kids can practice life skills. Doing their own laundry. Start with baby steps, they bring it when they are out of their favorite clothes and declare they have NOTHING to wear. Same goes for making their own food in the kitchen. Teach them some basic safety in the kitchen and let them cook. Have them clean. A floor mopped by a child is better than a floor not mopped. They are practicing and I am letting go of some control. It takes a lot of teamwork to keep everything running well when everyone is at home. Practice. None of it is done perfectly, we are all practicing.

Contact. All that knocking around like pinballs can create sparks. A hand on the shoulder, a hug, sitting close while you both work, hold hands, snuggle, a kiss on the cheek, make eye contact and listen to them tell you about Minecraft. All of these things reestablish connections and will help soothe nerves and diffuse potential explosions. This makes a big difference. I can go a whole day in the same room with my kids and not “connect” with them. Contact soothes us both.

Be well. These are hard times. Protect your relationships. Know that school will look different at home. The measures of a good day will be different. Pour so much love and grace on your family.

In my next post I will list some of my favorite homeschooling resources and activities.